It just hit me a couple of days ago that I am, again, a college student. Maybe its the time off or the distance between me and my former institute of higher learning but for some reason, this feels totally and completely different. When I announced to my family that I had gotten a resounding “A” in my class this semester, they seemed much more pleased than I was. I keep thinking that this will, at some point, become impossible. I keep waiting for the time when I can’t seem to keep up. Or the moment when I no longer want to come to class. The day when I get a paper back with a big red “F” on the front…but, no dice.
Dad kinda smacked me the other night and said, “You think I was getting D’s in my music classes? No! A’s!” I guess I just never really knew that school could be just a furthering of your natural talent. The opening of doors that were previously under lock and key in a former life.
I remember telling myself long ago that my artistic mind was no more or less special than the next guy. The thing I’m starting to learn is that I don’t even care. If somebody has MORE talent then I do, it won’t diminish what I have to say. And at this point, it’s up to me to figure out exactly what my statement will be.
Anyway, all that to say that I made it – with an “A” and another semester under my belt. I will be registering this week for Drawing I and Painting I and I could not be more excited. This semester, I dipped my toe in the water. Next semester, I am going to wade. You guys won’t be able to hold me back when I’m ready to dive in. I promise you that.
My teacher suggested on our last day that we give ourselves the opportunity to line all of our work up from the semester and see how we’ve grown. Since I don’t have the space to do that, I figured it might be fun to do that here – in pictures!
I’m missing a couple projects but I’m too lazy to upload them from my phone. You’re not missing anything essential.
Final project (encompassing everything we learned over the semester):
My final project hanging in the art building! My teacher had to point it out as I was passing him in the hallway. And then he said, “You’re not very observant for an art major.” I’m not going to miss his favorite way to refer to me, as I was the only art major in our class.
Overall, I still don’t feel like a style has emerged yet. A wonderful friend of mine told me yesterday that I won’t be able to really communicate my style until I know who I am. I asked for a hint but she wouldn’t give me one! All this self-improvement has left me feeling drained and the sense of accomplishment only lasts for about 0.5 seconds a day.
Like I said, I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. Although, that’s a problem that is much greater than just school. That’s my life. Disappointment is the expectation and sometimes, it makes me miss the good stuff. Trusting that things will live up to my dreams is maybe the single most terrifying thing I have ever experienced. I’m working on it.