If something doesn’t work out the way you planned…it’s probably for the best. I was going to get my iPhone this morning but instead, found myself bed-ridden and ill. I’m not worried, though. It’ll happen. And when it does, there will be much vlogging.
So many things floating around in my head today. I suppose that’s what happens when you find yourself alone with your thoughts. I’ve become accustomed to the pace with which my life has been moving lately. Mostly because I know for sure the direction is forward. I finally feel like I don’t have to worry about life passing by without me. I’m on board, for sure.
I guess the problem is that I still find myself frustrated and impatient when I least expect it. Last week, in the midst of good company, I suddenly became panicked at the thought that my life isn’t where I want it to be. Feeling that way at such a safe time really rocked me. I feel like I’ve been recovering ever since. The distance has made me realize that it had nothing to do with the people I was with. It had more to do with me.
It feels like so long ago that the picture in my head of my future was nothing but a haze – a dim, foggy idea. Now, the fog has cleared and there are things that stick out to me like a suddenly recognizable landscape. There are thoughts I can’t shake about where I see myself. There are people I refuse to count out because for some reason, I know they fit. There are decisions that keep coming up, reminding me that I have to make them. All of those things help me know I’m moving in the right direction.
The frustration will always be there, I suppose. It just depends on how I choose to handle it. One thing I know is that I won’t cower in fear. I’m not going to push people away. I will always chose the truth and I will welcome the pain. Remind me of that when I’m hiding in my room sometime, ok?