One thing I’ve learned…

If something doesn’t work out the way you planned…it’s probably for the best. I was going to get my iPhone this morning but instead, found myself bed-ridden and ill. I’m not worried, though. It’ll happen. And when it does, there will be much vlogging.

So many things floating around in my head today. I suppose that’s what happens when you find yourself alone with your thoughts. I’ve become accustomed to the pace with which my life has been moving lately. Mostly because I know for sure the direction is forward. I finally feel like I don’t have to worry about life passing by without me. I’m on board, for sure.

I guess the problem is that I still find myself frustrated and impatient when I least expect it. Last week, in the midst of good company, I suddenly became panicked at the thought that my life isn’t where I want it to be. Feeling that way at such a safe time really rocked me. I feel like I’ve been recovering ever since. The distance has made me realize that it had nothing to do with the people I was with. It had more to do with me.

It feels like so long ago that the picture in my head of my future was nothing but a haze – a dim, foggy idea. Now, the fog has cleared and there are things that stick out to me like a suddenly recognizable landscape. There are thoughts I can’t shake about where I see myself. There are people I refuse to count out because for some reason, I know they fit. There are decisions that keep coming up, reminding me that I have to make them. All of those things help me know I’m moving in the right direction.

The frustration will always be there, I suppose. It just depends on how I choose to handle it. One thing I know is that I won’t cower in fear. I’m not going to push people away. I will always chose the truth and I will welcome the pain. Remind me of that when I’m hiding in my room sometime, ok?

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3 responses to “One thing I’ve learned…

  1. auntbea0417

    Wow, deep stuff. I’ll have to read this again tomorrow when I’m more awake, but I’m glad to see you are feeling better enough to write again.

  2. no hiding in your room. and BY THE WAY apparently, it was not my destiny to have an iphone yet either…

    you’re so deep i think i’ just acquired the bends from reading your blog.

    sunday nap time, then MOVIE!:)

  3. kjc1974

    Feel better my friend, I’m looking forward to a couple days at the beginning of August!

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In My Head

"I'm already out of foolproof ideas so don't ask me how to get started. It's all uncharted." - Sara Barielles
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