All I really want to do is…

Today my goal was to get all my books put out into my new bookshelves. I must say, it was really really fun to see all my friends again. The problem was, it made me really sad that I couldn’t just sit and read all day. Even more sad that I couldn’t leave town and write until my hand fell off.

I’ve become frustrated recently with reality. I must work. I must work every day of the week. I must eat and sleep. I must socialize. I must make conversation. All I really want to do is pull out my notebook and get lost in a story. I am pretty sure reading Twilight awakened the sleeping giant – obsessive writer.

The semester I withdrew from college might be the happiest time I can remember. I had a job and an apartment so I was obligated to stay in town until the summer but I didn’t have to go to school anymore. So all day, every single day, I just wrote. I would wake up, lean over and grab my notebook and start writing. I would pack up my notebook and some books for research and then head to the computer lab on campus, put on my headphones and write all afternoon. I’d go to work and then come back right after and write until I was exhausted.

It was like I was finally free to do the one thing I had wanted to do all along. The weirdest part is that now I am not quite sure how to write and juggle reality at the same time. How do I not become totally consumed by a story to the point of turning off my phone and disappearing until I want to be found?

I still have to figure that out. Part of moving into my own space with an actual room devoted to reading and creating is to further work out exactly how to balance all of this. I am really looking forward to it! I have had all these ideas floating around and two characters actually popped into my head, locked in an emotionally draining conversation that has permanently etched them on my brain. I am hoping to figure out who they are and how they got to that point very very soon.

Ahh! I’m such a nerd. I love it. Time for sleep.

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In My Head

"I'm already out of foolproof ideas so don't ask me how to get started. It's all uncharted." - Sara Barielles
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