The past two weeks have been so fast paced. I feel like I blinked and now it’s on the verge of becoming Saturday…again.
All I’m really doing is working hard and trying to keep my head above water. I’m doing a lot of thinking, a lot of reading and a lot of breathing. Deep breaths, to keep everything in focus.
The past year and half have been such a whirlwind and sometimes I can’t even remember what I was like before all it all went down. So much to be thankful for and so much to learn. I really am glad to be here and I’m really really glad to be where I am.
I think at this point I can say that I will no longer make any apologies for my life. I’m not going to entertain for one second the kind of judgement people pull out just for me. Someone I once respected looked upon me with disdain and said the words, “You’re 26 and you live with your parents” like I should crawl into a ditch and give up. In that moment, I felt myself break a little bit.
In fact, I think I’ve been nursing myself back to health since that day (about a month ago) and it feels really strange to know that even though I might heal from those words, the scar on top of them is never going to go away. Now I know that no matter what people may think or say about me, I’m right where I should be. God is dealing with me in a way that only He and I know.
I feel these moments of greatness teetering on the edge of the horizon…almost within sight. I am trying not to be afraid of them anymore. I’m going to actually attempt to catch them and revel in them, regardless of the terror I may feel.
I don’t know if that makes any sense to you, my fair readers. I will just say that I’ve run from myself for a very long time and I think I might be through running. Time to stop being so afraid to just be me.