Hard work and deep breaths

The past two weeks have been so fast paced. I feel like I blinked and now it’s on the verge of becoming Saturday…again.

All I’m really doing is working hard and trying to keep my head above water. I’m doing a lot of thinking, a lot of reading and a lot of breathing. Deep breaths, to keep everything in focus.

The past year and half have been such a whirlwind and sometimes I can’t even remember what I was like before all it all went down. So much to be thankful for and so much to learn. I really am glad to be here and I’m really really glad to be where I am.

I think at this point I can say that I will no longer make any apologies for my life. I’m not going to entertain for one second the kind of judgement people pull out just for me. Someone I once respected looked upon me with disdain and said the words, “You’re 26 and you live with your parents” like I should crawl into a ditch and give up. In that moment, I felt myself break a little bit.

In fact, I think I’ve been nursing myself back to health since that day (about a month ago) and it feels really strange to know that even though I might heal from those words, the scar on top of them is never going to go away. Now I know that no matter what people may think or say about me, I’m right where I should be. God is dealing with me in a way that only He and I know.

I feel these moments of greatness teetering on the edge of the horizon…almost within sight. I am trying not to be afraid of them anymore. I’m going to actually attempt to catch them and revel in them, regardless of the terror I may feel.

I don’t know if that makes any sense to you, my fair readers. I will just say that I’ve run from myself for a very long time and I think I might be through running. Time to stop being so afraid to just be me.

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2 responses to “Hard work and deep breaths

  1. Steve

    You Go Girl!!!

  2. KJ

    You should never be afraid to be you. People that love you, love you because of everything you are, not the little box they try to make you fit inside.

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In My Head

"I'm already out of foolproof ideas so don't ask me how to get started. It's all uncharted." - Sara Barielles
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