Back to work after days and days…eons of time in bed, coughing. Ok, really it’s been seven days. Feels like eons, though. I’m still pausing to hack up a lung in a very unlady-like manor when people try to carry on conversation with me. At least I can hold my head up. That wasn’t possible two days ago.
I’ve never had a bout of “low blood sugar” in public before. On Saturday, I felt weak so I sat down and told my family I’d be fine on a bench in the mall. They left to keep shopping and I sat there, listening to my iPod calmly and decided I felt better. So I got up and headed into the nearest clothing store and tried on five sweaters. The moment I stepped foot out of the store and pulled out my phone to call my family, my hand started shaking. Then my arm started. I walked to where I had last seen my Dad and I kept staring at my arm thinking, “Why isn’t it obeying me?” I finally ended up back on the bench, curled up with my head in my Mom’s lap and my Dad at my feet, urging me to drink all the orange juice he had procured for me. I guess it comes in handy to not travel to malls alone, eh?
I’m still trying to figure out so many things…where to go and what to do with this whole work situation. Our store closes on Saturday and I’ve already missed four shifts in the last week. Soon, it’ll be over and I’ll have to take the next step.
If God allowed me to see farther than one step ahead, I know I’d be asking him why in the world I should bother with the growing process that will get me there. It’s frustrating to be this far and still feel like you’re back at the beginning every time a new obstacle shows up. I guess that’s the way life goes, though. I mentioned to a friend that I feel like I’m back where I started in January of last year and he said he thought I have far more tools to handle things than I did last year. I guess it’s easier for another person to see that.
Either way, step one includes showering, getting out of bed, carting Puffs with Vicks everywhere I go and trying to just stay upright. I accomplished three out of four today. Tomorrow – all four.